Thursday, 19 February 2015

Hug EVERYONE special

I honestly don't know how to start this post, so I'll keep it simple: I'm not being a rubbish blogger, my mother-in-law died suddenly last week and taking care of my husband and helping with all the things that have to be done when someone dies have taken all my energy and time. (Besides, I had no computer access.) I spend a lot of time in vintageland, thinking about things from decades ago. This week has been a real reminder not to forget the people who are still here! Before Christmas I was a bit grizzly about going to my mother-in-law's for Christmas, because I'd had deadline hell at work and just wanted to slump about my own house in my pyjamas, but there was no way I'd have actually tried to wriggle out of it. I'm so glad I didn't; we went and had a great time. The time you fail to go and see someone, thinking you'll do it next time? There might not be a next time.

So here's to my mother-in-law, Joan: maker of the finest Christmas puddings in the world, cat fan, devourer of crime novels and the woman who won at the 1960s. How could she win at the 1960s? Because she did her nursing training in Liverpool so used to hang out at the Cavern, and did see the Beatles there but preferred Herman's Hermits. You could play all the 1960s cards you liked, but she'd trump everyone with that one, every time (though she wasn't boastful, she'd just drop it into conversation as an afterthought. I think I found it far more interesting than she did).

Now go and hug everyone you love, and stop farting about on the internet.

20 comments :

  1. Oh, I'm so sorry about your mother in law, and so glad you went to see her at Christmas. Sending love. xxx

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    1. Thanks.

      I am making sure all my relatives know how much I love them! So easy to think they'll always be there...

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about Joan, she sounded like she was an incredible lady.
    Sending you and your husband lots of love. xxx

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    1. It's funny - she was a very quiet northern woman. Very down-to-earth. And then we'd be listening to music or see something about Liverpool in the 60s on the telly and she'd say, "Oh yes, I used to go there," and I'd gape in amazement.

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  3. I'm sorry to hear this Mim, my thoughts are with you and yours xxx

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  4. Sorry for your loss Mim, sounds like it's been a tough week. Sending virtual hugs, and yes, seeing people NOW is so important. I've been lining up visits with friends and family so far this year, trying to make sure I spend time with them all. x

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    1. Thanks :-) It hasn't hit as badly as I feared, I think because we've been kept busy sorting things out. The quiet times are the hard ones - that and listening to music. Pete got a lot of his love of 1950s/1960s music from her. I reckon the milestones in the year are going to be tough: mother's day next month, her birthday, Christmas. (We found a Christmas pudding in the kitchen and brought it home. We'll brandy it every couple of weeks and have it this Christmas.)

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss Mim. It's horrible to lose anyone close but I'm really glad you got to see her at Christmas and that you have one of her puds to remind you of her this coming Christmas. Hope you and hubby are okay. Take care of each other xxx

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    1. Thanks Cate. We'll be okay! I'm doing my best to be supportive.

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  6. Oh Mim I'm so sorry. I'm certainly right with you on this one, these last few weeks with my Dad have made me realise just how much I do take for granted. Big, big hugs to you both.

    Talking of Joan you reminded me of a lovely guy called Chris I used to work with, another very quiet and mild mannered northerner! He loved classical music and hated all the noise we listened too, and then he just knocked us flat one day when we were discussing music. Turned out he'd been in London in the 60's/70's and seen them all, like EVERYBODY from Hendrix, to The Stones, even Skynard before the plane crash, our jaws were on the floor!

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    1. Chris must have had some amazing stories! Joan never really said much about her time in Liverpool, I wish I'd asked her more. Though when she and Mum last got together they immediately got into a Beatles-versus-Stones debate, as though the past 45 years hadn't happened. They both had a great time.

      I hope your dad continues to recover, it must be a very difficult time for your family. If you ever want to vent on email, I'm always there.

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  7. I am sorry to hear about Joan. I'm glad that you all got to have a great time together at Christmas. Her stories of Liverpool in the 60's must have been fascinating.

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    1. Thanks Kate-Em. She didn't talk about Liverpool much, I wish I'd asked more. She certainly loved her Merseybeat bands.

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  8. I'm so sorry about your Mother In Law. I'm glad you were able to have a family Christmas together last year.

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    1. We've got this year's Christmas pudding! We found it in the cupboard. We'll be drenching it with brandy for the next 11 months.

      It'll be a good Catholic pudding by Christmas!

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  9. Sympathy to you both, and you are so right. I have lost almost all my close family, it sucks, hold it while you can. XX

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    1. Oh, that's awful for you.

      I've been sure to ring/email mine and tell them I love them, just to make sure they know. I'm not going to take them for granted!

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  10. So sorry to read about your mother-in-law xx

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    1. It was unexpected, for sure. But we're a tough pair, the Mr and I will be fine. Thank you for being kind.

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